Trust issues in relationships

What are your trust issues in relationships with people around you? This question brings us back to a fundamental connectedness with life and makes a big difference in your caregiving.

When you have a lot of distrust in your relationship with your loved one, it makes caregiving significantly more difficult. This applies to other relationships in your life too.

Trusting others is connected deeply with trusting yourself. When you trust yourself, you see friends around you, wherever you go. When you don't trust yourself, potential enemies pop up left and right.

What is it about trust issues in relationships with others that point to a lack of our own self-trust? Whatever you see in someone that you have not made peace with in you, will cause you distress.

If you see an angry person and you have not made peace with anger in you, this person will cause anger to arise in you. If you see someone who is terribly sad, and you cannot be around them without a very strong reaction, you have not made peace with sadness in you.

If you see some violence in the environment around you and you cannot return to peacefulness in you, but must resort to violence yourself, you have not made peace with the violence in you.

This idea forms the basis of trust issues in relationships.

We all have the propensity for many emotions. Life is very colorful. It is when we get caught up in them that life is colored by that emotion. If we have not learned to see that emotion for what it is, we get caught up in it.

This is not so much a problem for positive emotions. But unfortunately it is a problem for negative emotions, and can lead to a caregiving relationship that is full of clouds of emotions like storms between you.

How to not get caught in negative emotions? Awareness is the key. Simply be aware of what is happening at every moment. Awareness cuts through negative emotions like a sword. How to develop awareness? Meditate.

Meditation is the antidote for reducing trust issues in relationships. It connects you with your own nature, like a snail pulling back into its home. It is much more effective than fighting with someone. The fight just disappears when you are no longer angry...when you have returned to peace.

And so what happens over time? As you slowly learn to trust yourself more, to see negative emotions for what they are--a temporary disturbance like a cloud in the sky--you will become less reactive when you see that same temporary disturbance in others. Peace returns a little more quickly in interactions.

And slowly, trust starts building, and relationships become deeper and more satisfying. This is especially true with your loved one--wounds can be healed, even if they are deep.

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